The questions in my head are piling up.
Why did his tone of voice change suddenly?
Maybe I should not have said that word?
Is she actually acting distant or am I overthinking?
Are they secretly judging me?
Did I overshare?
What if he doesn’t like the way I laugh?
How could he just abandon me like that?
Were we even that close or did I just make it all up?
Maybe I’m better off with my guards up?
Why does she suddenly feel like a stranger to me?
Am I reading too much into his ‘okay’?
Do I mean as much to people as much they mean to me?
How would life be if he hadn’t walked away?
Maybe I should have loved harder?
Will I ever be content in life?
Maybe he has a hidden motive behind all this?
Will anyone even notice if I stopped existing one day?
Have I really moved on or am I fooling myself?
How did I let him in so soon?
Maybe I don’t deserve the love that I think I do?
When will I be comfortable with my body?
Maybe a vacation will make me happy?
What if the doctor can detect my sickness?
Am I overthinking or are people not thinking enough?
Will I ever find my forever?
So many questions.
I find an answer to one.
But I second-guess it to the point where it no longer feels believable.
I now question everything.
And everyone.
I fondly remember that time in life when I knew nothing of anxiety.
Of overthinking.
Of second guesses.
Of compulsive doubting.
Of over-analysing.
I believed in people.
Believed them when they said they loved me.
I believed in the universe.
And its plan where everything falls in place at the end.
Seems like a very long time ago.
A time that I know nothing of today.