There’s something that no one teaches you.
No one teaches you what’s the right thing to do with your brain’s memory box of a person, once they stop being a part of your life.
How do you forget all those tiny things about them?
Tiny, inconsequential things that once made you fall in love with who they were.
Things you carefully learnt about them during years of togetherness.
The way they bite their nails when they’re anxious
The way their eyes gleam when they hear ‘ice cream’
The way they squeal when tickled
The way they sob during the climax of a movie
The way they baby talk to every dog they meet on the streets
The way they say a silent prayer each time an ambulance crosses their way
The way they get excited at the thought of a going down a water slide
The way they duly organize notes in their wallet at the end of a workday
The way they always miss out on trimming one last fingernail
The way they always sneeze in threes
The way they mismatch their socks
The way they smell a book and smile to themselves
The way they rush out to play when it rains
The way they grunt-laugh when a joke’s too funny
The way their brows furrow during the tense last over of a cricket match
The way they stop snoring when pulled into a cuddle
The way their lips quiver right before a breakdown
The way they mindlessly draw circles on their skin when confused
The way their eyes light up while talking about their childhood home
The way they zone out each time their favourite song comes on
The way their mouth gets dirty while eating a mango
The way they crib about never finding an Uber
The way they scrutinize a picture before posting it on Instagram
The way they break a kiss to flash a toothy grin
The way they hold on tighter so every hug lasts longer
One random day, life decides to render all of this information as useless.
What do you do?
Press a button that magically clears the memory box?
Empty it for the memories of the next person?
Though that’s not the toughest bit.
The soul-crushing part is living with the fact that somewhere, in another part of the world, a new person is busy filling their memory box with all the tiny things of your once-favourite person.